Free at last! Free to be me!
How did it happen?
In my mind, folks, I just decided to dig deeply into the word within the word.
Yes, it all happened right here under one of my outlandish hats!
Example: "Sexuality", male or female is in the category of a DOING or BEING expression. It is action related. Other uses
of the word are sexual activity or sexual nature. "Sensuality" is in the category of inside FEELING, personal
feeling.
So I never dress "sexy". I dress "sensually"! I dress for the free surges of life force that go through me, for my
health.
Other on-lookers are not as free as I am, especially when their gestures or looks portray that I make them "think" sexy thoughts.
The other part of being so free is to know I cannot make anyone think anything in his/her mind. Only I think in my mind and so it
goes for all others. Besides, thinking means processing or treating ideas inside.
Warning: child molesters, pedophiles, stalkers and sexual predators, what you are about to read will destroy any legal arguments
in your behalf for your behavior. Yet, you should be informed. It is never too late to take charge of yourself and change the
programming you made in your mind. You are missing special self-made satisfying mental joys.
Back to the words:
Sensuality and Sexuality! Sensuality is about FEELING. The word "sense" is inside the larger word sensuality. Sense means " the
faculty of sensation" (Funk & Wagnalls Standard Dictionary). My inside sensation is my energy, moving and forming life within.
Sensation implies feeling, a special energy nurturing self expression is a strengthening understanding for "sense". This allows me
to understand that my inside energy's purpose is to express and experience the self, MY SELF. This energy makes sight, sound, smell,
taste and touch possible. Then the energy connects me into the external world of physical outer opportunities.
Energy is the movement that translates into feeling sensations which need direction and respect. I direct my energy thoughts
concerning sensuality and womanhood to increase the rate of movement and receive the inward benefits of more inner peace, harmony,
and personal pleasure. I also receive the outer visible benefit of less aging signs.
Sensuality is just great! Too many times I suppressed my inside feelings, believing wrongly that they would cause me to ACT
inappropriately or involve another in unwise behavior. Not anymore! Not since I discovered that I make my own thoughts and feeling
sensations. I can enjoy these two energies without committing any act acceptable or non-acceptable.
Thought and feeling can be connected without any other step needed. I can now take responsibility for my thinking, feeling, speaking,
and acting energies. Where before the illusions of cause and effect made the lines between inner thought and feeling, and outside
happenings too fuzzy. How wonderful to dress in line, design, colors and fabric which increase my inner "appreciation energy",
making me more me. These only send more fire through me faster and more often.
I can see others dressing their way and not be judgmental whether or not they are aware that they make their own feeling sensations.
Sensuality allows me to experience a physical paradise, as the feelings experienced are inside and accompany me into the outer
physical world. I experience changes in the safe and healthy personal flow as I allow my FAVORITES to change. For me a different
style of dress, or skirt suit produces more inner fire than slacks, jeans or pants. Casual slacks and jeans have their place.
My energy responds quite differently from ultra feminine attire. The natural fabric itself, and of course color, add to the major
changes in the intensity of my energy movement. All of these are affected by my "I like this" attitude.
My personal pleasure increases or decreases as I follow the desire for special garments at special times. My wardrobe influences
my health and happiness. Sheer see- through fabrics are most attractive to me, placed in sections which reveal the beauty of skin
and shape. The softer the fabric, the more fire I feel from within. I like silhouette garments like a long skirt, where the sun
blazes through on to my thighs and legs. All these sensations are for me to enjoy and maintain my health.
Example: I begin to have shortness of breath when I start to adorn a turtle- neck or high collar blouse, even in the winter- time.
Until I remove the high neck garment and replace it with my low cut blouse or sweater, normal breathing does not return. With steady
breathing, inner peace returns. Perhaps the low cut blouse allows my skin to breathe. Even self-talk about what others will believe
about my choice of low cut blouses does not change my inside feeling sensation of suffocating.
As I become aware of my ability to feel my thoughts and change my physical sensations with different thoughts, I notice other changes
occurring. My skin complexion is changing. A healthier, younger look is forming from inside. A note here: the faster the energy
moves inside, I become very thirsty. I drink beautiful clear water at room temperature through out the day. Why not; water is the
conductor for this energy inside, and I am replacing whatever I lose.
Remarkable, a simple muscle energy flow resistance test called
Kinesiology shows I am definitely a sensual energy package.
Being true to my sensuality is very important to my health energy. I never dress for anyone. I must dress for the health and fire
I produce.
I'm raising my energy level constantly and becoming more capable of physical activity for some one of my age. I am not becoming ill
in the degree of seriousness as I did in my past. I have more energy, more interest, more zest, more capability, more happiness -
what more could I want?
No need for pills, pep (uppers) or antidepressants, to go to sleep or stay awake. Yes, I am pill-less except for natural
vitamins and minerals. Dress, music, dance, food, sights, color (both interior and exterior) environments add to the increase
of inner sensation generating and surging. I suddenly find my wardrobe changing by color. The old colors are actually fulsome,
producing uncomfortable inner sensations. A shakiness or definite slowing down of the inner energy flow is occurring. I do not
need the shade or hues of the old colors. So, I change color with the inner direction supported by kinesiology readings. I know
I am dressing to prevent illness or imbalance. All of these principles touch upon my own concepts of
Human Energy Conservation.
Now what about Sexuality? The word implies action, acting out, especially with someone else. Healthy flowing energy producing
strong self-worth feelings of pleasure and pride are assets when an attraction occurs and one can separate his/her feeling sensation
from a like chemistry. There is time enough to decide from within whether the involvement is wise and beneficial for both.
Sexual activity can be guided to safe levels by focusing on the amazing ability to be a "sensual partner" in any activity involving
food, music, dancing, or a combination of these. A sensual partner realizes that the physical sensations are self-made for his/her
own health. He/she does not need to be in the illusion of negatively using, being used or causing the pleasure and happiness of the
other. Healthy energies are being made individually at the same time. All involved are free to enjoy themselves individually on a
higher more pleasurable level.
Sensuality, inner individual feeling power, in the future will be allowed maximum genuine expression since nothing is causing an
arousal in anyone. It is in his own thinking. So take a look, think, give thanks, experience your feelings and go on your
way. Join me in maximum, genuine, provably healthy sensual self-expression. Create your own personal inside enjoyment and
dress for your health. Better yet, attire for your inner fire.
Kathryn Pape
Copyright 1997